It's been almost a year since I've been here.
I've struggled. I've struggled a lot. I've struggled with me, I've struggled with my decisions.
I think I've finally made peace, or a least started to see that such things are not in my control, and I can accept that. For someone that likes control, it's been a real challenge but I can at least learn to take a deep breath and move forward one step at a time.
I'm on the road back to "ME".
Now, who the hell is going to dig out this house!
Along with my struggle I've let things go. I've let ME go, my house, and my vision.
I invite you to follow my way back!
Monday? Where did the weekend go?
I know where it went! I was busy shampooing carpets and washing walls. I slept Sunday afternoon away. Now I'm paying the price!
A restless night, another grouchy Monday. Shit! I forgot the football uniform. (SCREECH)
Note to self: The football uniform is HIS responsibility, he forgot to bring it to me!!
WHOA dude! (Enter the bedroom) Where does that smell come from? Why do boys smell like that? I'm no stranger to the uniform funk, he's my 4th child. It's just something you don't get used to. Gag!
I think a restructuring is in order. My older kids did their own laundry by the time they were sophomores. Maybe it was out of necessity, but they were in charge of their own clothes. Maybe it's time for him to learn that lesson. Is it worth the battle?
I enter his room again, time to face the day! "Up and at 'em Adam Ant" (Where does that saying come from?) Good LORD! Where does that smell come from!
Our national parks are celebrating 100 years this weekend. I have fond memories of visiting parks and traveling every summer, almost every weekend. Not aware of it at the time we were connecting with our surroundings & learning of our country's rich history.
Our family trips started many years ago...MANY years ago. A lover of history and the outdoors my dad would drag (LOL) mom, 4 little kids, & a big black lab through parks, through nature, creep crawly insects, and the brutal heat in an old blue suburban without AC. We're heading off next weekend, to our favorite state park, for our annual family vacation, not just me and the "monsters", I'm talking about us PLUS 14 more.
We took many family trips when I lived at home. Every weekend at the lake in a tent, hiking in the hills, wandering around grown over cemeteries (don't ask), and trips to grandpa & grandma's. Oh my gawd, just how many cans of cold Pork n Beans did we eat?
I have great memories of some beautiful country side, but I believe trips taken in the panhandle of Nebraska & the southern Black Hills of South Dakota stick solid in my head.
The area rich in history, my father would stop for all the history markers and would read them to us. I have to admit, I found it a little boring. Why would you stop to read a street sign, for crying out loud!
Our favorite part, MY favorite part, hiking in hills south of Scottsbluff, Nebraska. If you have bought into "Nebraska is flat", you're seriously mistaken. Not far from where we lived for a few years, it was paradise, and I could run away from my brother & pretend he ran off a cliff. (LOL don't worry, I didn't push & he's still alive) Mom would grab a book & her bag, tired of our bickering she'd drive & dump us out. She'd pull up a picnic table & turn our wild butts loose. We'd run for hours, beat each other with sticks, and throw rocks at the outhouses. Yup, we were sooo out of control.
We're only a week away from jumping in the car, and all (ALL) heading west. 35+ years we've been exploring western Nebraska & connecting with the outdoors. Old blue & the black lab have been gone for years, but dad will drag us kicking & screaming. We've rented a beautiful historical 3 story Victorian home, over a 100 years old, surrounded by bluffs, streams, and history. I'll sit on the old porch, dream of hiking in hills, and ignore the kids screaming "he looked at me!". NO TV, NO WIFI! I'll tune in the old transistor radio & listen to Big Red, & open a cold can of Pork n Beans.